everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
