We won't sleep together?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
