Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
