I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
