careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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