Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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