he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
