So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
