I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize