erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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