I must be too annoying 4 u.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
