he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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