Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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