i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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