I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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