im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
