i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
it was like his penis was on wheels.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
