i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
