I think scott just propositioned me for sex
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
