Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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