talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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