New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
