you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize