I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Randomize
