Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
