Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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