i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Did I show you my penis last night?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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