I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Randomize
