Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
this will be a night to untag.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize