I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
