can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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