I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
