It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
