Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
