I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
