i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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