Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
