3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
