I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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