ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
