She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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