Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
God gave him joint rollers for hands
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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