And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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