we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
