And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
