I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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