I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize