ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
