I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
nutella sex= disaster
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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