Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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