Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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