I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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