Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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