he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
