More tranny stories later!
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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