So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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