just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
