Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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