remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
