hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
