She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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