If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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