It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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